


What is and What Could Never Be

by stinathewicked



Series: The Never Played Symphonies [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7479228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stinathewicked/pseuds/stinathewicked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Epilogue to Never Played Symphonies. What could have been in another life. Itachi/Sasuke</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is and What Could Never Be

The Never Played Symphonies

Interlude: What is and What Could Never Be

Sasuke waited patiently, staring directly at the door as his niisan was late. As a matter of fact he was hours late. Being the Leader of the ANBU black ops, Itachi was often late. He was often absent entirely as he would be gone for days, but not tonight. Tonight Itachi had promised him. Sasuke had made him swear up and down that no matter what was going on, and who he had to save, that he would be at home. Itachi had absentmindedly promised, but Sasuke could tell he wasn’t really listening. He never listened. 

Sasuke drummed his fingers on the counter, sipping on the beer he had dug out of the fridge, stealing it from their father. Sasuke was only 16, but he had already made it to Juunin level, raising in the ranks almost as fast as Itachi himself. ...Well...He had a good teacher. It didn’t matter. In his father’s eyes he was always behind his brother, even with all of his improvements. Itachi was the star, the revered one, even if his brother wasn’t really happy. Itachi hadn’t been happy in years, if he ever was. 

He downed the beer, getting up to poke at his now chilled food, scowling at the tiny gourmet stuffed mushrooms Itachi loved. He had cooked for him, and not only cooked...oh no… Between missions, and teaching, and training, Sasuke had somehow managed to get a gourmet meal prepared with garnished friggin heirloom tomatoes shaped like roses, and Itachi hadn’t shown up. 

Sasuke grabbed a mushroom, shoving it bitterly into his mouth as he grabbed the sake, tipping the bottle back as he left the kitchen. Well screw him. If this didn’t mean anything to him anymore, than nothing did. Sasuke walked down the hall, glancing at his reflection in the family pictures as he passed. He looked so much like Itachi sometimes, especially when he scowled. He was garbed in plain black clothes, the normal Uchiha fan that was on his back was absent. Itachi hated it, so he hadn’t worn it. He had done everything for this night. Not that it mattered. He scowled even further as he could already hear the chastising tone in Itachi’s voice as he ridiculed him for pouting and fit throwing. 

He took another swig of sake, pushing into his bedroom as he flopped down on the bed. It was only a few months before he got out of here and into his own place. Things would get better then. It would be better between them then. Sasuke tipped the bottle back as he looked around, hand reaching reflectively to the picture hidden under his pillow. Smiling as he saw it, tracing over the body he adored. Itachi had told him to destroy it, but he hadn’t. It was one of the only things he had proving that his brother even cared at all. 

Sasuke drank more, feeling the familiar buzz that alcohol could provide. It had become his friend over the years when he was forced to live this lie. A few more months and they would have a place. It wouldn’t matter anymore, would it? All their fights...Sasuke’s demands. It wasn’t Itachi’s fault after all...this thing between them. That was all Sasuke, and Itachi had tried to save their souls ever since then. His mind drifted to the past, to how hard he had campaigned until Itachi had given in. For years Itachi had thought it was his doing, as if that was possible. Sasuke had known what he had wanted for years, just waiting until he was old enough...as if 13 was an old age. Itachi had resisted, of course he had, but Sasuke had been working on him for years. Letting him see him naked, crawling into his bed, sitting on his lap whenever he could...he’d whine when Itachi told him he was too old, eyes watering, and Itachi had eventually given in. 

The first time they kissed Itachi hadn’t come home for weeks, guilt obviously keeping him away. ...The first time Sasuke had sucked his cock Itachi had cum all over his face and then puked his guts out afterwards. ...The first time they had fucked, Sasuke had found Itachi in the bathroom with a knife at his throat. That had taken some convincing, promising him he hadn’t taken advantage of him. Promising how much he loved him and how much he wanted it. It had become easier after that. Itachi had thought it was his doing. He always had. As if Sasuke would just let this happen because Itachi wanted it. He never argued with it though when Itachi would break down sometimes. ...The guilt kept him honest. That was three years ago though, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to sate his brother’s wants. Itachi was getting bored. He knew it. He was getting bored with him. 

He traced over that beautiful face in the picture. Itachi was kissing him in the photo, both naked and in bed. He had taken this right before he had given Sasuke his necklace, the one he always wore. Itachi told him it brought them closer together...made him swear to wear it. Sasuke did...his simpering mind working to tell him that it was as close to a ring as he was ever going to get. How was it possible to love someone so much who you knew was just...over you?

“What are you doing in here?” A tired voice asked, and Sasuke was knocked out of his drunken musings as he stole a glance upwards. Itachi was in his ANBU uniform, dirty and bloody as he looked exhausted. 

“Waiting for you.” Sasuke replied with, heart pounding as he searched Itachi’s face, wanting to see the emotion there. He rarely did. ...Itachi was so bored. His life was a mundane existence that he only kept because Sasuke begged him to. “Where were you?” 

Itachi rolled his eyes, drawing the mask completely off his face. “Honestly Otouto, where does it look like?” He asked him. “I’m going to shower. Clean up the mess in the kitchen before Okasan and otosan get back.” 

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “That’s it?” He hissed at him, hand tightening around the picture. “You’re four hours late, and the most you can tell me is to clean up?” He hissed. 

“What?” Itachi asked him. “Did you want roses? Don’t be such a girl Sasuke...I’m exhausted and I came all the way back here tonight because I could only imagine what I’d be walking into if I came back tomorrow.” He told him. “Why was tonight so important anyways?” 

The question took Sasuke aback, eyes immediately tearing despite himself, watching Itachi’s own sharpen as he watched him. He didn’t know. ...Not even a clue. “Get out of my room.” Their room...Itachi had fucked him so many times in this bed that the frame was starting to crack. Itachi didn’t move, still watching him. God he was stupid sometimes. To think Itachi would even care anymore. This last year had been hard. They had hardly even talked to each other, so why would he assume Itachi would want to celebrate like they normally did. “Itachi. Go.” He growled, not above throwing a pillow. “I’ll clean up the goddamn kitchen before they get back tomorrow.” 

“They won’t be back until tomorrow?” Itachi asked then, ignoring Sasuke’s obvious move. He recognized that tone though, the one of convenience. The one they had used whenever they had any alone time. 

“Really not in the mood.” Sasuke hissed at him, fighting off hiccups as stared morosely down at the bed. 

“Why are you angry with me?” Itachi asked then. “I was in the middle of a mission. What did you expect from me? Should I have abandoned my men to come comfort you? To make you feel better by eating your food? Grow up.” Itachi snapped. “Do you really think we still have the time to celebrate anniversaries?” 

Sasuke’s eyes widened slightly as he stared down at the picture, Itachi smiling into the kiss. So he did remember? He had chosen to ignore it...and him. “When did you get over this?” He asked softly. 

“Over this?” Itachi asked back, ire in his voice as he walked over, grabbing Sasuke’s chin and ripping it up to meet his eyes. “Over what?” He asked, searching Sasuke’s face, yanking him up so that he was up on his knees. “Over what, Sasuke!?” He asked, more anger in his voice. 

“Us.” Sasuke hissed out. “Me.” He said things he would probably never be brave enough to say if he hadn’t finished off the sake. “If you don’t want to be with me anymore you don’t have to stay out of guilt. I won’t tell anybody. I never would have.” 

Itachi’s eyes widened slightly, before narrowing as his hand tightened. “Is that what you think?” He asked him. “That I’m with you out of some sort of fear that you’ll tell on me?” He scanned Sasuke’s face. “Is it?” 

“I think you’ve been over this for a long time.” Sasuke hissed right back. “I think you want to leave me, and guilt is the only thing keeping you in my bed.” 

“My unfathomable want for you is what’s keeping me in your bed!” Itachi said back without hesitation, shoving Sasuke hard as he fell back, crawling on him still bloody and dirty as he grabbed Sasuke’s face. “I think about you every second of the day Sasuke, my dick weeps at just the memory of what it feels like to be inside you. I think of my feelings for you, and they are soul crushingly strong. It isn’t just love...it’s all consuming crushing weight that consumes me.” Sasuke’s heart was pounding, staring up at Itachi. “This place is killing me, but I stay. I stay for you because I cannot bear the thought of being without you.” Itachi kissed away the tears from his eyes, lips pressed to his cheek. “I’ve had to kill so many people to live this mundane existence, and all for you, my love, so if I don’t come home with a smile on my face, and if I don’t show you how much you mean to me...know it is only because I cannot.” 

Sasuke’s dark eyes finally met Itachi’s full on, crushed by the weight of emotion in them. “Itachi…” He whispered, because what could you say after that? How could he possibly know he was doing this to him? That Itachi was suffering this bad? “I love you.” He managed, knowing it paled in comparison to what he had just heard. His hands slid into Itachi’s hair, pulling him close. “I didn’t want you to leave me. I couldn’t...not without you.” 

“I can’t anymore Sasuke.” Itachi whispered, countless secrets had passed between them like this in bed. “I’ve tried so hard to be what you want me to be. To be good for you, but I hate them. I hate this clan...this place. It’s making me resent you, because I can’t leave you.” Itachi leaned in then, burying his face in his neck, and Sasuke was used to the move, just petting the back of his brother’s head. 

“You want to leave Konoha?” Sasuke asked softly, not believing what he was hearing...but somehow he knew. He always knew. 

“Not if it means you won’t go with me.” Itachi assured him, kissing along his neck. “Gods...when was the last time I had you?” He asked desperately, and that had also been one of their problems. They hadn’t had alone time in almost three months. 

“Too long.” Sasuke assured him, gasping as Itachi sucked. “Itachi...you’ll leave marks.” He panted weakly, cock reacting as Itachi marked him. 

Itachi sighed into his neck. “As if I’ve ever cared that other people know you’re mine. You’re the one who won’t tell them...that’s ashamed.” 

Sasuke shook his head. “You know that isn’t true, but we can’t tell people Aniki. They would kill us.” 

“Let them try to take you from me.” Itachi hissed, pulling back to watch Sasuke. “Why have you been having these thoughts? For how long?” 

Sasuke sighed, biting his lip as he watched Itachi above him. “You had sex with someone else Itachi.” He murmured. “I saw you and I continued this for a year...hating you for it, but too scared to even confront you.” He tried to push at his brother, but the other sunk deeper down to prevent him from moving. 

“Excuse me?” Itachi hissed at him. “Cheated on you?” He growled. “As if my dick even works for anyone else.” He bit through clenched teeth. “You have been distant for a year because you thought that!?” 

“It’s true!” Sasuke yelled. “I saw you with that bitch Sai! The one in your squadron that can’t seem to wear enough clothes!” Sasuke hissed, trying to buck him off, only to slide their crotches together, feeling just how rock hard Itachi had gotten from holding him down. ….As if he didn’t know about that kink. 

“You’re an idiot Sasuke! If you saw something, know it wasn’t me.” Itachi pressed himself further down, letting Sasuke feel between his legs. “You know what you do to me, as if anyone else could ever compare to you.” Sasuke bit back a whine, his own body reacting even through his anger. “It was a trick, love…” Itachi buried his face in Sasuke’s neck, thrusting roughly against him. “Believe what I tell you.” He whispered, and Sasuke nodded, because he would always believe what Itachi told him. 

“Take off your pants…” He murmured a little desperately. 

“No, not until you say you believe me. That I wouldn’t fuck anyone but you.” Itachi growled, kissing Sasuke rough then for the first time that night as Sasuke melted into the kiss, letting Itachi thrust against his ass. 

“I believe you…” He whispered, but he didn’t. He knew what he had seen. “I’ll leave with you.” He found himself saying before he could help himself. “I’ll go anywhere you want me to.” 

“I know you will.” Itachi whispered, kissing along his chin. “That’s why I’ve never asked...and I still won’t.” He pulled back to drag down Sasuke’s loose fitting pants, staring down almost reverently at the body underneath him, causing Sasuke to blush and turn his head, only to have it drawn back. “You don’t like me looking at you now?” He teased. “Liar...we both know you do.” 

Sasuke blushed even more as he was called out. “Maybe...I like looking at you more though.” He reached up to Itachi’s uniform pants, slipping down the zipper and pulling him out, palming the familiar weight in his hand. He moaned at just the feel of him. “You want me to suck you off?” He asked huskily, to which Itachi just shook his head. 

“Want something else.” Itachi whispered, watching Sasuke huskily. “Spread your legs.” Sasuke obeyed without hesitation, blushing even more when he remembered what Itachi would find there. “Otouto?” Itachi asked, voice a question. “You’re slick…” Sasuke groaned as Itachi spread him wider, examining the slick dripping hole, leaning down to sniff. “Strawberries?” He asked, licking out to taste it as Sasuke gasped. “How long were you playing with yourself?” He asked curiously, tongue pressing in easily. ...Sasuke had gotten all five fingers in an hour ago...the tongue wasn’t going to do much.

“Long enough.” He managed, wanting to be prepped and ready. “Just fuck me okay?” He  
asked, embarrassed as Itachi continued to lick at the mess oozing out of him. “Itachi come on…” He tried, bright red as he lapped at him. His breathe was starting to quicken, cock leaking. “Did you not think I was capable of opening you up?” Itachi asked, a little angry as that tongue probed him. “You’re not supposed to touch yourself.” 

“You were supposed to get here sooner.” Sasuke defended himself, eyes rolling back as Itachi added three fingers to his tongue, noticing how easily they slipped in. 

“Forgive me Otouto, I was held up.” He pushed his fingers deep, adding in his pinky and thumb, stretching as Sasuke gasped, legs thrown open as he was open...so open. “I can see inside of you.” Itachi whispered dirtily, and then shut his fingers, slipping in deeper up to the wrist. 

“Itachi!” Sasuke screamed, pain lighting up his spine as his body tried to adjust to the girth. “Take it out...take it…” He fought, but was thrusting forward, fucking himself down on it. 

Itachi watched him fuck himself down on his wrist, letting him as he took it in. “How did I ever get you?” He asked almost reverently. “You...who understand my every want?” Itachi kissed his knee almost softly, pulling his hand out, flexing his fingers as Sasuke screamed, hole puffy and wanting. “My Sasuke...who has let me do every depraved thing I can think of to him as he blushes so pretty.” Itachi kissed him sloppily. “My Sasuke who thought I would actually forget the day he first gave in to me.” 

Sasuke’s heart pounded at that, staring into Itachi’s eyes as the other pushed hilt deep inside him, kissing him as he took him all the way. “You gave into me.” Sasuke argued, knowing he was right. Knowing he had been the one to push it. Sometimes he let Itachi take the guilt, but not tonight. Not after what he had told him. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Brightness.” Itachi mused, thrusting deeper inside of him as Sasuke’s legs wrapped tight around him, pulling him in deep. “The mushrooms were delicious by the way…” Itachi mused against his lips. 

“Shut up Itachi.” Sasuke murmured, kissing him deep as they went at it. Itachi hitting deep inside him, the passage slick as he slammed into him. “Gods...I missed you.” He panted, slamming his own hips up to meet Itachi’s. “More…” He demanded, yanking on that pony tale as blood from the uniform rubbed into his skin. Itachi complied, slamming in so hard he could feel it deep in his abdomen. 

“I love you.” Itachi whispered into his ear. “No matter what happens...I love you…” Sasuke nodded, whispering his agreement. “No Sasuke...look at me.” Sasuke’s eyes snapped to his. “You don’t need this.” Sasuke didn’t understand, pulling him closer, trying to get him to move. “Brightness.” Itachi whispered, and Sasuke froze underneath him, mind changing mid thrust as he knew who he was, he knew who he was with. 

“You left me.” Sasuke managed. “It’s the only way I can see you.” 

“It isn’t me.” Itachi assured him. “And it isn’t you...you know that Otouto.” He managed, thrusting inside him. “I miss you...if we only had anniversaries.” He mused sadly. “If we actually had three full years together...I’d let you make me mushrooms.” 

Sasuke broke then, tears streaming down his face. “I wanted more…” Itachi nodded.

“We both did Otouto, but it didn’t happen.” He kissed his cheek, pulling out of him. “This was never our life though. It would have never worked.” 

Sasuke tried to control his shaking voice. “But I loved you...I didn’t care if I left the village for you.”

Itachi nodded. “I should have never asked you to.” He cupped Sasuke’s face. “Promise me you’ll stop Sasuke. It’s killing you.” 

“I don’t care if I die.” Sasuke whispered back, finally getting to Itachi, after months of searching. 

“I care.” Itachi assured him, kissing him. “I love you...Don’t die on me. You don’t deserve that agony quite just yet.” 

“I can bring you back…” Sasuke tried, though he knew he couldn’t. “If you would just tell me the jutsu...I can…” He tried. 

“Sasuke...don’t ask for things you know I’ll never give you. It’s unbecoming.” Itachi kissed him again. “Stop coming here.” 

“No.” Sasuke assured him. “Stop meeting me here.” 

“As if I could ever resist you.” Was the last thing Itachi said before the scene disappeared and Sasuke lunged up, gasping as life went back into him, leaning against a gravestone as he gasped for breath. The forbidden jutsu taking its toll on his body. His face was pale, sallow, eyes sunken in as he spent more of his time dead than alive. He clutched at his chest, a familiar red necklace hanging from his neck. He’d go through every scenario, every life they could ever have had. He’d find the secret to the jutsu, the one point of their life when Itachi wouldn’t leave him...or he’d die trying.  
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

**Author's Note:**

> This story makes me very sad. I wrote this about six months before Never Played Symphonies was over...It hurt to reread just now knowing that it is finished...and Sasuke is so broken.


End file.
